What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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