A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Nah

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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