What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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