Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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