Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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