When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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