how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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I have suicidal thoughts

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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woman..parallel parking

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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Laugh

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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