Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops