Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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anti jokes are for fags

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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