Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

thumb_up thumb_down +27

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

thumb_up thumb_down +27

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dakota Fanning

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops