A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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Because she has down's syndrome

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Your mom is not fat!

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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