One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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