What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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