Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

do you wanna hear a joke school

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops