Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

God. God.

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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