why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No soap radio

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops