What is black and white and red all over? Micheal Jackson being torchured

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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cancer

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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