"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The queen having a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops