Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Jellybeans

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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