Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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