Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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i just pooped that is all!

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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