What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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your moms my other ride

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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