Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Cancer.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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