Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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ur gey

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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