Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

thumb_up thumb_down -7

my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Smeg...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"...."-Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops