When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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CRY

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops