Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Elizabeth Warren

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops