What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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