carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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GADZOOKS!

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Where's my tractor?

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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