What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Compton

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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