roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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potatoes

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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