What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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GONNA

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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Your adopted.....

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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