How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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neil likes pube toast

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops