A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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69- by Adam Chebali

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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