whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops