Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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Thumbs this up

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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