How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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Lil Wayne

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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