What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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