Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The MLS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops