Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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