What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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A man makes a sandwich.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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all jokes aside...

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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