I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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GONNA

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What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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