Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down -1

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

banana

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops