Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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