A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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4

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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KONY 2012

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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VAGINA.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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