Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +17

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops