Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

thumb_up thumb_down +17

you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops