roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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