how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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what's black and can't swim?

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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