A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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