What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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DERP

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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THE GAME.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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YOU

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops