What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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