Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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chuck norris

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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homework

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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