- Anti Joke

Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

Well I think that anti jokes are stupid.

why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

People with cancer.

Women drivers...

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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